interrupted-transmission
11.21.2004
Most are mercifully ignorant of the indignities they are subjected to.
Possession. Imagine being possessed by a personality you have the utmost contempt for. Imagine becoming the man with no redeeming features. Imagine all the qualities you take most pride in being replaced by their polar opposites, and yet, you are still yourself. This is true horror.
What does it mean to say
And yet you are still yourself? What can this mean when all your characteristics have been replaced by someone elses. Someone you cannot bear to be? It is to say, you still observe. There is no break. You are the observer, not the observed. Here your impotence is made manifest. You may only watch as your
personality is transplanted. Still you observe and yet you have become something quite other.
To be made to watch as your self is substituted for another. This is true torture.
The desires and impulses of a child molester flashing through your brain. The reactions of a coward, the thought patterns of an imbecile.
Now tell me, in light of all this, what is the I?
This is the cost of putting the word on the page. Open yourself the outside and the outside will enter you.
Locust.
Humans are like the crickets, which, once certain external conditions have been met, transform all at once into locusts.
Become a swarm.
All the people I have ever met return. That is misleading. They return, not in body, but instead,
They take it in turns
To occupy my head.
I remember them by thinking their thoughts, hearing their voices inside my head. I have lost a little of myself to these others. Their responses become mine. They saddle me with prejudices and strange desires. Sometimes I see their faces as I think their thoughts. See the way they moved or pulled on cigarettes. I live reality through others eyes.
What is it though, this terror which lies beyond ourselves?
Every pleasure garden and polar hell. Cold ice wastes. Frozen asteroid worlds. Endless tombs and catacombs.
Gardens of sensual delight, an endless caress, swooning vales…
That which terrifies with its immensity. Formless multiplicity.
AVOID TEMPTATION. HOLD TIGHT TO THESE TRUTHS.
The self-reflective riddle is two mirrors facing one another. It is symbolised by corridors, never-ending staircases and chess boards. The endlessly recurring.
Don’t get lost in the corridors.
Possession. Imagine being possessed by a personality you have the utmost contempt for. Imagine becoming the man with no redeeming features. Imagine all the qualities you take most pride in being replaced by their polar opposites, and yet, you are still yourself. This is true horror.
What does it mean to say
And yet you are still yourself? What can this mean when all your characteristics have been replaced by someone elses. Someone you cannot bear to be? It is to say, you still observe. There is no break. You are the observer, not the observed. Here your impotence is made manifest. You may only watch as your
personality is transplanted. Still you observe and yet you have become something quite other.
To be made to watch as your self is substituted for another. This is true torture.
The desires and impulses of a child molester flashing through your brain. The reactions of a coward, the thought patterns of an imbecile.
Now tell me, in light of all this, what is the I?
This is the cost of putting the word on the page. Open yourself the outside and the outside will enter you.
Locust.
Humans are like the crickets, which, once certain external conditions have been met, transform all at once into locusts.
Become a swarm.
All the people I have ever met return. That is misleading. They return, not in body, but instead,
They take it in turns
To occupy my head.
I remember them by thinking their thoughts, hearing their voices inside my head. I have lost a little of myself to these others. Their responses become mine. They saddle me with prejudices and strange desires. Sometimes I see their faces as I think their thoughts. See the way they moved or pulled on cigarettes. I live reality through others eyes.
What is it though, this terror which lies beyond ourselves?
Every pleasure garden and polar hell. Cold ice wastes. Frozen asteroid worlds. Endless tombs and catacombs.
Gardens of sensual delight, an endless caress, swooning vales…
That which terrifies with its immensity. Formless multiplicity.
AVOID TEMPTATION. HOLD TIGHT TO THESE TRUTHS.
The self-reflective riddle is two mirrors facing one another. It is symbolised by corridors, never-ending staircases and chess boards. The endlessly recurring.
Don’t get lost in the corridors.
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